


The Provincial Lady and the Pageant

by Ankaret



Category: Provincial Lady - Delafield
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-13
Updated: 2009-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 09:44:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ankaret/pseuds/Ankaret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lady Boxe organises a Pageant, and the Provincial Lady reluctantly becomes involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Provincial Lady and the Pageant

1 May

Go to Parish Meeting, as Our Vicar's Wife says she will Call for me, and have not the courage to say that I do not want to go. (Query: Is Social Life in the Provinces entirely due to lack of Moral Fortitude?) Make feeble attempt to entice Robert to go too, but he says that he is going to see the Gamekeeper, and goes away with an unusually rapid step: cannot verify whether this flight is in direction of Gamekeeper or not, and in any case Our Vicar's Wife is now at the door.

Meeting entirely taken up with excited discussion of Lady Boxe's renewed and imperious demands for a Pageant on the theme of Mary Queen of Scots, and with sale of uninteresting large House previously owned by retired solicitor, which is said to have been sold to a Cult. Miss D. of the Village says wildly that really, if they all dance in cheesecloth on the lawn she will not be able to bear it, as her window looks out in that direction. Our Vicar's Wife suggests mildly that she should look out of a different window, but this remark not a success, and Miss D. takes Offence, as does Mrs D. on her daughter's behalf. Can see that conversation during journey home will consist solely of discussion of the D's and their behaviour.

It does.

3 May

Robert announces at dinner last night (how can he possibly have kept news to himself so long? But then Men, as dear friend Pamela Pringle is given to remarking with theatrical sighs, are Different) that he has heard from the Gamekeeper that the house has been let, not sold, and not to a Cult, but to a monastery of Catholic Brothers. Robert adds that for his part he can See No Difference, which I think uncharitable, and has evidently expressed this view several times to the Gamekeeper already and I hear him address it to the Gardener this morning. The Gardener leans on his spade and agrees, and says that for his part, he has always been for the Empire.

Cannot see what the Empire has to do with anything, but the gardener sends up several young marrows in any case.

4 May

Our Vicar calls, and says several times that we must be Ecumenical. Do not invite him to lunch, as cannot feel Robert is a friend to the Ecumenical Cause, but think later that this looks _odd_, and only hope that it does not go all round the village that we have joined some kind of Anti-Papist League.

Robert says thoughtfully that he supposes it is all up for Mary Queen of Scots at any rate.

7 May

Lady Boxe has evidently _not_ given up on the idea of a Pageant, as she sends officious small note to the house this morning with the information that it is to take place on the second Saturday in June (this surely very short notice) and that the theme will be Richard III: and that she wishes Robert to play part of Buckingham, and to come at once for a Fitting.

Richard III surely very curious theme for a Pageant? But perhaps am thinking of Richard II, or even Richard the Lionheart. Resort to small book of History left by dear Robin in the nursery bookcase, which dwells mostly on the fate of the Princes in the Tower, with heart-rending illustration of said Princes, after Millais, onto whom dear Robin (or possibly dear Vicky) has drawn large handlebar moustaches and round spectacles respectively.

Am engrossed in story when unknown Lady M. is announced. Lady M is tall and slender with hair-cut so unbecoming that I know instantly it must be the latest fashion from Paris, and is wearing equally Parisian summery frock which shows excessive expanse of breastbone. She comes forward with both hands extended and breastbone to the fore, and says that she is a friend of Rose, who incited her to call on me (why?) and that she wishes instantly to know what I am reading, as she knows that just like dear Rose I am very Literary. Attempt to hide school-book under a cushion and make play with nearby Illustrated Review, but visit not a success, and Lady M leaves me with a pitying expression which she extinguishes under a large and expensive Hat. Hope very much never to set eyes on her again.

Robert returns looking very hot and cross, and saying that at least he supposes he is not expected to be dunked in a vat of lampreys as part of a tableau as will happen to the Duke of Clarence, who is played by the fishmonger. Am uncertain whether the lampreys prompted the casting of the fishmonger or vice versa, and am also confused as to which royal personage succumbed to a surfeit of lampreys and which to a Vat of Malmsey. Attempt to discuss this with Robert, but he only says, Is it a Crossword Puzzle, and goes to sleep in front of the fire.

15 May

Astonishing number of items are begged and borrowed for the Pageant, from the old set of fire-irons to the hall rug, which I _think_ is to form part of some Coronation Regalia.

17 May

Robert notices the absence of the hall rug, and is not pleased.

19 May

Cannot discover from anybody who is to play the titular part of Richard III. Doubtfully suggest Miss Pankerton, who is known to possess a Hamlet costume, which could surely be adapted to R.III by removal of skull and addition of pillow: but this rumour swiftly scotched by Miss P. herself, who comes strolling through the French windows as we are finishing breakfast (can see that Robert is not pleased at this) and says scornfully that Lady B. has asked for her Cape, and she has refused it as being Utterly Out Of Period.

I weakly agree, and Miss P. takes the wind out of my sails by vehemently disagreeing with herself, and saying but then again, why not perform the Pageant in Modern Dress? Or then again, why not set it in a Soviet Republic? She then leans one elbow on the table, and criticises several productions of Shakespeare which she has seen, including _Coriolanus_ performed in Roumanian and _The Winter's Tale_ set in a municipal gasworks. I confine myself to saying that I haven't seen them but would like to, the second part of which is quite untrue.

Miss P. turns discussion to subject of Poet Laureate. Can see that this will go on all morning if not stopped, and wildly ask Miss P. whether _she_ knows who is to play Richard III. She says curtly that she supposes Lady Boxe will do so herself, adds unsuitable remark concerning Piers Gaveston (surely associated with quite different Richard?) swings her disputed Cape round her shoulders and marches out.

Robert looks at me and says _Well_. Can see that he blames me for entire incident.

22 May

Robert spends a lot of time at Rehearsals, and says that RIII is to be played by friend of Lady Boxe's from London. Why not Valentino? he adds sardonically.

Why not, indeed?

4 June

Robert and Vicky return home from school, and are ecstatic at prospect of Pageant. Am delighted to see them so interested in History, and offer to read to them from Trevelyan after dinner.

Am somewhat dashed when Vicky asks me trustingly if there will be swing-boats, and even more so when I hear Robin brassily telling Cook that if they need more Stage Blood, he knows of a very good recipe which was used in a School Play. He knows Lady Boxe will probably have laid in Barrels of Blood, he adds trustfully, but he thought he would offer in case she needed More.

Can see that Vicky expects a Fete and Robin the Grand Guignol, and cannot see how these are to be reconciled.

Say as much to Robert, who says curtly that _he_ expects them to be reconciled Very Well Indeed.

13 June

Day of Pageant dawns bright and clear, and we gather on Lady Boxe's lawns (or at least, the part we are allowed upon, as the rest is cordoned off with unpleasant Notices, and Rope, presumably in case the hoi polloi were to break through and steal her Rosebushes) to watch unpleasant-looking London friend gloating over coffins, smothering nephews to shrieks of excitement of children present, fighting Duels, and finally shouting for a Horse with his Crown askew.

Suppose at least that he is shouting for a Horse, as no one can hear a word that is said throughout. Lady B takes part of Queen Margaret, in black velvet and pearls, and makes what look like several quite long speeches. Other female parts appear to have been cut to the bone.

Think Robert looks handsome, but do not say so, as do not want to look like wife with no topic of conversation but her husband. Our Vicar's Wife suffers from no such scruples, and says that she is _sure_ that the Vicar will die of heat-stroke, as he is playing the Archbishop of Canterbury. Can see what she means, as he is wearing heavy-looking pectoral cross and small skull-cap, and robes made from set of red baize curtains.

Several of the Christian Brothers attend, but leave before the _finale_. Our Vicar's Wife is alarmed, and thinks that they have taken offence at the Vicar's interpretation of the Archbishop of Canterbury, but Miss D. says importantly that no, they always have a Service at this hour, and Mrs D. adds something about _bee-hives_ which I do not attempt to interpret. Our Vicar's Wife loses her head completely and says, really, they would be Always Welcome, but cannot tell which of the Vicar's perquisites she is making them welcome to, as there is much cheering for the gamekeeper in the role of Henry Tudor, _on_ a genuine horse, led by Lady B's groom for the occasion.

Walk home. Children very excitable and tired, and insist on re-enacting Sword-fights round Robert's legs.

Robert says suddenly that as for those Brothers or Fathers or whatever they call themselves, there must be something in it after all.

Do not ask from whence comes this display of Ecumenism.


End file.
